Creativity, Play, and the Human Need to Feel Alive

Each month, I will be writing and sharing MIND MATTERS MONTHLY - a space for exploring mental health, well-being and the ways we navigate everyday life. My work sits where modern science meets ancient wisdom and I hope that what I share feels engaging, accessible and gently informative.

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This Month - Creativity, Play, and the Human Need to Feel Alive

There is a misconception that creativity belongs only to artists.

That it is reserved for people who can paint beautifully, write professionally, or produce something worthy of praise.

But creativity was never meant to be exclusive. It is not a talent given to a fortunate few, it is a deeply human capacity.

As researcher and author Brené Brown discusses throughout her work, especially in The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly, creativity and play are not optional extras in human life. They are essential to connection, resilience, imagination, and wellbeing.

One of the researchers she often references is psychiatrist and play researcher Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, who spent decades studying the role of play in both children and adults.

One of his most powerful observations was:

“The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression.”

That sentence changes something when we truly sit with it.

Because so many adults have quietly learned to see play as frivolous, childish, or something that must be earned only after productivity.

And yet Brown’s research suggests something very different.

He believed we are “built to play and built by play.”

Meaning play does not sit on top of being human, it helps shape the human nervous system itself.

When Brené Brown studied people living what she called “wholehearted lives”, people who seemed more connected, authentic, joyful, and grounded, she noticed something surprising.

They played.

They laughed.

They wandered.

They created.

They spent time doing things with no measurable outcome.

In modern life, that can almost feel radical.

Many of us have become so conditioned towards usefulness and productivity that we struggle to justify doing anything simply because it nourishes us.

Research involving 2,000 UK adults found many people begin losing touch with playfulness by their late twenties, often due to pressure to be productive and “useful” with their time.

And underneath that often sits something deeper still, the stories we tell ourselves.

Sometimes all it takes is one comment in childhood.

“That drawing isn’t very good.”

“You’re not creative.”

“You can’t sing.”

“You’re not artistic.”

And slowly, a belief forms.

Not just about art, but about ourselves.

Over time, these thoughts become patterns, and those patterns shape behaviour. We stop trying before we even begin. We disconnect ourselves from joy to avoid vulnerability, embarrassment, or perceived failure.

But perhaps the greatest loss is not the painting that never gets painted, or the poem never written.

Perhaps the greatest loss is the feeling itself.

The absorption.

The presence.

The regulation.

The aliveness.

Because creativity is not only about outcome.

It is about the experience within our nervous system.

It is the feeling of becoming immersed in something, losing track of time, softening into the moment without pressure or performance.

And remarkably, many forms of adult play are things people do not even recognise as play.

Dr. Stuart Brown described play not as games or entertainment alone, but as experiences involving curiosity, freedom, enjoyment, spontaneity, and lowered self-consciousness.

Which means play can look like:

working with clay,

painting without purpose,

gardening,

doodling during a phone call,

dancing in the kitchen,

walking with nowhere particular to go,

laughing with friends,

arranging flowers,

singing while cooking,

lingering over a long lunch, the French understanding of joie de vivre through conversation, food, and presence, or the Italian embrace of la dolce vita, the sweetness of fully inhabiting ordinary moments.

Even two people sitting side by side doing separate activities can become a form of nervous system safety and connection, what psychologists sometimes call parallel play.

These moments matter more than we realise.

Research has shown that playful and creative experiences support emotional regulation, resilience, problem-solving, flexibility, learning, and social connection.

Dr. Stuart Brown’s work even suggested that severe play deprivation can profoundly affect social bonding, empathy, adaptability, and emotional regulation across both animals and humans.

In other words, play helps us become more human towards one another.

And perhaps this is why playfulness disappears so easily during periods of chronic stress, burnout, trauma, shame, or overwhelm.

The nervous system stops exploring when it no longer feels safe.

So rediscovering creativity is often not about becoming artistic.

It is about becoming connected again.

Connected to ourselves.

Connected to others.

Connected to joy without justification.

Perhaps creativity was never asking us to perform at all.

Perhaps it was simply asking us to remain connected to aliveness.

So maybe the invitation is not:

“What am I good at?”

But instead:

‘What makes me feel I belong to myself wholeheartedly?”

Not productive.

Not perfect.

Not impressive.

Simply alive.

If something within you misses creativity, play, wonder, or simple joy, perhaps that is not childishness at all, but the nervous system quietly asking to come home to itself again.